notebook / @tww

While “inspiration” would, at first glance, connote a positive spin, reality dictates that it can also be negative: I am inspired to NOT be like this person, to NOT create like this person.

Growth and evolution – creative or personal – being centered around the question of when to let those erstwhile inspirations go: is it when the gauge trends more towards the negative than the positive or when it indicates neither a negative or postive reaction, when ambivalence strikes?

Leaning towards the latter: a negative reaction – a reaction AGAINST something – can, after all, be just as potent – if not more so in some cases – as a positive. But, another wrinkle: the lack of a reaction (or for that matter, a positive or negative one) to a once-inspirational/influential work/person at a certain point in time doesn’t preclude a reaction – either postive or negative, same or different – from a different iteration of yourself, days or months or weeks or years down the line, via the magic of rediscovery and that holy grail of experiencing something again for the first time – but only with the benefit of a not-insignificant temporal interregnum.

The passenger.

(With the stipulation that more might emerge as I process it over the next few days…)

First thing’s first: while my affection for MAN OF STEEL – glaring, often painful flaws and all – remains unchanged and my initial loathing of the theatrical iteration of BATMAN V SUPERMAN (with the exceptions of Affleck and Irons – I wish they had more time in the roles – and being the first appearance of Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman) gave way to a surprising enjoyment in its ULTIMATE (and much less non-sensical though still deeply-flawed) recut, Zack Snyder was not and is not the right filmmaker to give life to the original “these are your heroes brought to life!” intent of the DC Extended Universe – but then again, it’s not like TPTB knew what they wanted from the DCEU at the time, other than, of course, to “copy Marvel.”

I’ve come to think of Snyder’s saga as a cinematic version of DC’s “Black Label” line (and I think this is DC’s approach going forward, though I can’t keep it straight): this is Snyder’s vision of the DC pantheon – not the iconic, stone tablet version of it (but I think everyone has their own view on what those stone tablets look like), but Snyder’s vision of it (had this been the stated intent from the get-go, back in 2013, Snyder’s iteration might – might – have been received differently). This is how he would play with these action figures, with these licensed gods of our modern mythologies. And, like it or not, he was unabashedly himself, with JUSTICE LEAGUE being the most primal distillation of that aesthetic. It is unapologetic – and I can’t help but respect that.

In the absence of more drawn-out thinking, a series of points that I might explore in more depth later:

• Overlong? Overindulgent? Undeniably.
• Am I glad I spent the last three days watching it? Yes.
• Did I care about the 4:3 ratio? Not in the slightest. I’m a pan-and-scan baby; it didn’t phase me.
• What worked: … CYBORG (finally)… Superman’s return, arrival at Chernobyl or wherever they were, and that theme… Steppenwolf and actual motivated antagonism… hearing Wonder Woman’s music again, even with that annoying battle cry thing they added… but, most importantly, the Whedonisms are gone and we can banish his bastardization to the scrap heap…
• What didn’t: … attempts at humor fell more than flat… Batman was, most unfortunately, boring this time out (except the Knightmare sequence at the end; I did enjoy that and want to see that movie)… a weird penchant for shots of gods walking up stairs before swinging into action… I could’ve sworn that Alfred met all of the League before they showed up in the Batcave but, see next point:
• Do I remember everything that happened in earlier parts of the film? No. (Except Nick Cave’s “Distant Sky” playing over Lois’s mourning; the “They told us our gods would outlive us / but they lied” line gets me every time – even when it’s so brutally on-the-nose.)
• In spite of having yet to warm up to Ezra Miller’s Spider-Man/The Flash, am I looking forward to his solo flick? Yes.
• Do I still want to see the other two films in his intended series? Yes.

Time is waning this morning. More as the week goes on, probably.

MARIO KART niece/uncle battle report: tied a race; tied the “outrun the law” or whatever; and had my ass handed to me in “coin runner.” Note: apparently GTA tactics don’t work in MARIO.

Suspicion that I’m one of the “long-covid” types is growing: my blood sugar (I’m a T1D) has been insane for the last year - mild bout, probably, last March. In the week since my J&J vaccine, blood sugar has cratered back to “in the green” stability, with insulin needs following suit.

Very much a work-in-progress, but I’ve added a Status page to the primary brain-garden.

Read somewhere here, probably about the day or so after I’d taken a pause in my 20-year+ meditation practice, about someone meditating for the first time and, after a few weeks, seeing the space between thought and action or talk, and how beneficial that was – a sentiment echoed last month by George Saunders in his absolutely essential appearance on The Ezra Klein Show.

Having re-started my practice (it was only a few days of a pause in mid-late January) and looking it now with that different perspective has been, to put it mildly, transformative: I’m noticing that space – and how essential it is to my mental stability, creativity, marriage and general contentment – throughout the day, in ways large and small: a brief space between the shit-flinging monkey mind (or, as I call it, Randy the Chihuahua – I’ll share that story sometime) and the invasion of imposter syndrome, of self-loathing, of all Randy’s patented fuckeries; a space in the day’s Work, the necessity of its recalibrative properties and the benefit of intentional use of that space; a space in the week, for smaller things…

All that balance, and from seeing that tiny, little space between thought and action. To whoever said it here, thank you.

News: today (20mar2021), at 1PM CST, you can check out the first two installments of re/emergence on the brilliance-laden fifth episode of my re/e-partner-in crime Elizabeth Joan Kelly’s fantastic Electrojunkyard show. Listen at Camp Radio.

G‘Evening.

Sunday visit (on Friday).

Friday.

Encore: re/emergence0002, the latest music + microfiction collab from Elizabeth Joan Kelly and myself, is now available for a limited time.

Want to expand on something I said few days ago:

“I’ve been putting things I love to create into the world for more than half my life and the only constant is that the hours following never get any easier. It’s a feeling not dissimilar to the week’s side effects - they hit, they vanish, and I carry on.”

Thinking it’s gotten harder, actually. Been so long since I’ve done it – my last published bit came out in 2017 or maybe it was 2015, my last book in 2013 – that I’ve forgotten how to release something and, as per usual with me, pretty certain that it has to do with ceding control (to my mind, the concept of perfectionism is two-fold: one, it’s a razor-thin line between quality and fear, and two, it’s a rationalization of delaying release so as to retain that control, usually while falling off the edge of that aforementioned razor-thin line). Only antidote is to release more things, to ignore the deafening crickets, and to carry on. In other words, get back to The Work.

At least that’s where my thinking is right now.

Continuing with titling these, focusing on one thing, one small concept, because I recognized that literally anything I post here is a SitRep and it’s better to make these things their own thing so welcome back to daily Informalities, as MicroInformalities; something will be released to this MicroInformality channel every day.

Also: partway through ZACK SNYDER’S JUSTICE LEAGUE. Will share thoughts once I finish and process. On with the day.

Miniature Origami Cranes Take Flight in Sculptures by Naoki Onogawa, via Spoon & Tamago.

Delicately Illustrated Tattoos Take a Whimsical Approach to Flora and Fauna, via Colossal.

And quite wonderfully, too: Comic Books Help Explain Type 1 Diabetes to All Ages, via Medscape.

Majestic Photos by Michael Shainblum Frame Yosemite National Park through Rainbow Mist and Thick Fog, via Colossal.

Zack Snyder On His “Cathartic Journey” With 4 Hour-Plus ‘Justice League’ Cut; His Future With DC & Original Intentions For Ray Fisher ‘Cyborg’ Movie, via Deadline.

A Search Engine for Finding Free, Public Domain Images from World-Class Museums, via Open Culture.

Personal ecosystem vaccination status: as of today, both grandfathers, both in-laws, myself, and my wife are fully vaccinated. My mother has her second next week. After that, we’re all jabbed up. Relief.

EarBliss, 18mar2021: DOKU-EN-KAI, by toe.

Finally made the shift to turn my main site into a static-ish home for new projects and etc (podcasts, re/emergence collabs, and all upcoming fiction releases will live there). Think it works for where I am right now.

Good morning; it’s currently 46ºF under rainy skies and thus, The Jorkie refuses to go outside. A long day will ensue for her.

Though it may not seem like it, think I’m track to find the balance - in The Work blocks and in online writing: postprandial second block has to stay, no matter what. Requirement for daily repeatability will have to be replaced for the long-term benefit of the staggered replenishment of my self-respect-o-meter, which falls precipitously without that afternoon chunk (hence the return to these pieces, other than I simply like writing them).

Asked myself: if I could pick the schedule I want, would it be the one I’m attempting (the AM-blitzkrieg)? No. I wanted my afternoon chunk - because the rest of the day feels like reporting to a job I hate but with coworkers I love. At least the ones in the household. Outside, eh.

Considering a short solo podcast if for no other reason than I want to get better at using the equipment and the break between Socialized Recluse episodes is turning out to be far greater than I anticipated. Every time I use it, I feel like I’m starting from scratch.

Starting to make this a place I can noodle about it throughout the day, these SitReps being the start of the day… changes changes – and hopefully, my full exodus from social media forthcoming.

In other news, re/emergence0002 , the latest yarn in my collaboration with composer Elizabeth Joan Kelly is now available for a limited time.

On with the day.

The HARLEY QUINN animated series might be my favorite thing right now.

I’ve been putting things I love to create into the world for more than half my life and the only constant is that the hours following never get any easier. It’s a feeling not dissimilar to the week’s side effects - they hit, they vanish, and I carry on.

Side effect status update: humanity continues, batshit blood sugar has returned to normal. All is well.

EarBliss, 17mar2021: TEN TIMES THE WORLD LIED, by bvdub.

New, by we: re/emergence0002, the latest release from Elizabeth Joan Kelly and myself, is now available for a limited time. Enjoy!